Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
