standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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