saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
