I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize