I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
