Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
