Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
