You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
