ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
