The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
me + whiskey = a bad person
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
