Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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