So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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