How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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