is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
