Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
