I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Randomize