my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
