Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize