I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
