I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
