we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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