I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
