Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
