saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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