i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
