I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it's like heaven, but drunker
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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