I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i out mim tonsoeep
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
