That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
