Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize