If i come over, it means nothing
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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