yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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