Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
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My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
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And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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