I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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