Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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