Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize