if only i could text you this smell
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
