if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
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