Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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