3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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