Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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