She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
