We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think I sprained my soul last night
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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