I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
