we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
