Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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