You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
