Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
