you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
