Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
