I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
