I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
