When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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