it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
