Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
